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	Any Idiots in the Room? "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic lecturer. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the lecturer with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself." More Jokes >>

Funny Quotes

The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train. (Robert Lowell)

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. (Henny Youngman)

There are three easy ways of losing money - racing is the quickest, women the most pleasant, and farming the most certain. (Lord Amherst)

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. (Paul Getty)

Any astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every star in the universe will be at 11.30 tonight. He can make no such prediction about his teenage daughter. (James T. Adams)

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a     million-  dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. (Jim Bishop)

Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off. (Ralph Bus)

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in     Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. (Bob Phillips)

  I never met a kid I liked. (W.C. Fields)

Is not this the true romantic feeling- not to desire to escape life, but to prevent life from      escaping you?" (Thomas Wolfe)